Getting Over Or Around Myself: Time For Something New Again

 Few people are better at self flagellation than I am. I spend a substantial portion of my life these days reminding myself of my general uselessness, and unfailing ability to accomplish very little in my daily life. I have had this blogger account for about 15 years, and have existed as a person on planet Earth for 59 years and 2 months, give or take a few days, and I have not published a single thing I have written here since 2011 or 12, nor racked up as much as a modest list of things that I can point to as worthy of being called a legacy. I have some idea why I am recently obsessed with my empty lifetime trophy case, and I do wish I could enjoy some of the things I have managed to do with my life, but it is eating a hole in me nonetheless, so I have determined that I am going to click publish on this screed, everything else be damned. I don't care if it's good, or if it carries deep meaning, or if it makes sense, or any goddamn thing else, I just need to get it out, so I can justify having this tab open on my laptop every day for the last year, looking at the bits and pieces I have written, adding nothing to them, and moving on to something else. I will admit that my main issue is my crushing inability to focus on anything, and I mean anything, for longer than 3-5 minutes at a time. If unfinished business were actually a business, I would be a fucking tycoon, a multi billion dollar going concern, but, alas, it is not, so I am simply left with a trail of good ideas, funny thoughts, and various other moderately to very interesting scribblings, that ultimately have been left to fossilize while my mind flits around like a hummingbird on speed. 

So, today is the day, the day that I finally mutter to myself, "fuck it", and post some words to my blogger site. This is essentially a rehash of my first post 15 years ago, but the hope is obviously that this will be the equivalent of jumping over a hurdle, and will lead me to throw caution to the wind, and just do more of it, whatever it is. I'm getting short on breath, and the sun sets a little earlier every day, so here I go. I wish me luck.